I'm not a VTuber anymore,
this is just what i did Published 5th of September 2024
A few years ago, around 2020ish, I debuted into the what is not yet very popular but emerging community called Virtual Youtuber, it's a concept of content creators that uses virtual avatar to represent themselves.
It is a diverse community from various walks of life and while many comes, many did not hold that long. and many ends on their own will, or out of scandals. dramas within the content creators seems to be common however, no matter whether they are virtual or not.
I have witnessed my share of such things, but it's not all yelling and arguments on twitter, there is sunshine and rainbows too here and there oftentimes. but as the industry grows, I feel more and more out of place, for various reasons.
There are personal reasons why I left. but the one thing for sure is that as I said earlier, I felt out of place in such environment, where dramas and stuff keeps on happening and seems like it's it's the race of who can one up another in terms of wealth, and for some weird reason, pain.
I'm not sure why, maybe it's just the culture, but it's not unusual when one say that they are in pain, instead of listening and validated that the person is in pain, someone else would one up them that they are in even more pain than them, and cites various problems in their life.
No one knows the purpose of one doing that but on surface level, it's straight up rude and invalidating to the person who is also in pain, it's not even about them and they try to make it about them.
As you may clearly see above, I unfortunately have had that problem, far too often, for too many times. And not strictly in the environment of VT industry mind you. Its in general. So many people's are just so up to their own arse to place themselves into somebody else shoes and empathise with someone else.
but alas, I am just a speck of dust for most people's and maybe even a sinking mud that holds them down. so maybe for many my nonexistence are actually welcome.
either way, I won't keep myself on moral high ground, but I also won't name names or break libel law. for what it's worth, I want to live in peace, and there is nothing that would change that.
Live probably,
And about my name, well it will remain be Amelia Yukihana Elfenlied, it's always been my chosen name, and will be my legal name one day. that was one thing being a Transgender person, you are free to choose your own names, even if it's legally difficult to do so.
Everyone knows me as Amel, and no one calls me by my deadname, unless they are government officials, but they are also wanks anyway, so who cares about them calling the name of a dead person.
I can go on about not feeling or it feels wrong to identify as a human (haha yeah aing maung joke for Indonesians reading this). but I wouldn't go on about that since I know barely anything about them just yet, it's very new thing and may even be just a genre of fantasy story rather than a clinical condition. don't quote me on that though.
There is more to life than work, there is more to life than money, fame, and publicity. and that will remain to be my way of life. I am anti-capitalist through and through, and the idea of being super locked in with money does not fit well on me.
and if anything, I can actually go political and says keeping the middle and lower class poor is actually a benefit for the top rich and powerful because it will distract all these people powers from caring about the policy that they are brewing up there for their own communal benefit. not the peoples who live within it. this is why Universal Basic Income matters, and that is also why everyone on the top will do all it needs to stop it because then "No One Wants to Work" even when the Scandinavian has proven that it works.
... to end that tangent, let's talk about the future.
Twitter will be closed. I will kept it as nothing but an archive. Abandon all hope o' ye who enter here kind of thing.
As for amelia's demise and continuation, it will be written, slowly. As long as it takes to make it.
Amelia Media will remain, Kingdom of Wolfenland will continue and cherish it's short time having a wolf as its head and face of the kingdom. But what I can tell you for the kingdom right now, the wife of the last king becomes a queen temporarily until its time to reveal the lore continuation.
Oh and I will continue Amel's YouTube channel, where you probably find the link for this blog post since I also write a script for it, well not as long as this one, and less political and tangent-y than this one.
For the content, I'm not really sure, maybe a diary of things that I did for the past week if there is anything interesting in there, or maybe just an accompaniment video of a blog post I wrote, just like this one.
Actually, no. I am still a bundle of dysphoria mess, looking at my own face won't help alleviate that. So instead I will be using my own arts on the video... In a way or another that means I will still be a VT- but no, I'm downgrading myself into a png that changes every so often, Because I can.
Be good, be kind to the world. Let yourself be joyous and joyful. And abandon things that only cause you pain. If they can be narcissistic, you can be selfish. And if this causes the world to burn, then let it be. If we can drain the sea of hate with fire, then it's the way to go. hopefully once that happened, a drip of love will in turn fills the sea with fresh healthy and loving relationship between everyone and the world in general.
where we share our plougshare, and where we live in joyous little garden we call earth. where everyone is the custodian of where they live, and also be kind to every single living being in this universe, no matter whether they are for food, or for kindship.
thank you for reading this little blerp of thought dump.
and i will see you again, in the better time.
Take care, from your's truly
Amelia Yukihana Elfenlied
Djakarta 31st of August 2024